FloodsFloodsFloods

I am tired
And I feel sad.
Cynical people always say that you cant trust anyone.
Optimistic people say that trust is
Here
And now.
I got a voicemail very early this morning
And it was blunt
Thoughtless
Denunciation of me
By some girls
Who think they share something.
They think:
Some people don’t like us
But that’s fine because we have each other.
They think they are special because they are alive.
They are pathetic insofar as they have no grasp of the paltriness of everything.
They are just them.
They are all the same.
I don’t like people.
I begun the plans for the plan.
It will be all cryptic.

Sometimes I feel really close to the rest of humanity

like we all share the same years

and we all look the same

and we have all had the same thoughts.

Today i dont.

Today is this.

I dont have anything new to say today.
I have had no major thoughts or feelings.
Thats not enough to write a blog on?
No, your right
but neither are your thoughts or feelings.

There are some people i want to send to every place in this one book:
100 famous Japanese Mountains
by Kyuya Fukada.
Its not a useful book to read because its not about how capitalism sucks
or how to build a treehouse.

I like Alice's Adventures in Wonderland a lot
people always shorten it to
Alice in Wonderland
because of the Disney film.
The copyright of it has run out so i might publish it.

The Alice books were banned in China in 1931 by the Governor of the Hunan province,
On the grounds that
“Animals should not use human language.”
I think I must have missed something
Because the books don’t actually teach animals to speak:
Like Chinese animals could pick up the book and get the idea that they should learn language
And then
(this is the more difficult bit)
Do it.
Even if they did learn to speak
I dont see why that would be counter-productive?
People will say
"Ohh the animals would move into our already overcrowded cities"
But why would animals want to live with humans just because they can speak?
Its arrogant if you think that.
Animals will still be animals
they will just be able to express themselves better.
I am all for Anthropomorphism.

China sucks.
China is a steel cage.

Ofelia is dead
and I am scanning the footnotes on my list
and I am finding in there animals I had not previously considered
HUMAN
in the sense that
I AM.

I wrote more Hiroki.
Hiroki is 16 chapters now.

Noah Cicero is wrong

There is a first time for everything.

But,

i have been persuaded

that art is not a vice.

Im really struggling to see how it could be.

I wrote a lot today.

So much so

that im worrying myself.

I dont think real writers write so much

so quickly.

Maybe I dont want to be a real writer.

Orfelia fultoni is the only bioluminescent member of Diptera found in North America. It is distantly related to Arachnocampa. The larvae of the species live in stream banks among moss and rock cavities, as well as in wet sandstone caves.

I really have giving up finding

what i found

in the bioluminescent Diptera.

If it were to stop being there

things would be easier.

Copenhagen

I wrote another chapter.
Its called The Hot Fox princess.
Its set in Copenhangen.
Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen.

I decided Hiroki is just a working title.

I decided the party was brilliant.

The Morning and the Japanese boy

Last night we played at a party
The party was in a community hall.
The community hall had an alarm which tripped the electricity if the sound level got above two acoustic guitars and a tin whistle so we had to run extension leads from the kitchen.

Ellis liked it and he wore a silly shirt which made him look like a Hawaiian pimp.

We got up early (7.30) and it was cold.
We went for breakfast.

I didn’t write any more Hiroki but I thought some more through:

[Hiroki says his name means abundant strength but I am dubious.
His family aren’t very Japanese.
I don’t think they speak it at all.
I think it might be like when middle-aged men get shitty tattoos of Japanese symbols that they think say “I fought depression and won” but really say “cunt”.]

I think impertinence is bearable if its not directed at you.
If its used to help you
that’s fine?

I think I’ll stick it out for a bit.
This morning was nice.

Mr Funny
Mrs Splendid

A Halcyon 7 hours

Last night I started a new novella.
I wrote 15 pages.
It is called Hiroki.

Today I went to work.
The people were nasty.
I give more food to people that smile or are generally nice.
By this process I like to thing more food gets to the most needy
But then you think about it
And that’s the totally wrong way round.
If someone is truly needy
Then they will have been through so much as to be so bitter
As to not have time to be nice.

I’m not going to give more food to mean people though.

I haven’t really had time to do much of note today.
I got up at 1.

I looked at a picture of Ofelia and it irritated me
Ofelia irritates me.
Next
Please.

Murakami and War

I did not watch Peter and the Wolf.
It looked like Wallace and Gromit but more creepy and less innovative.
Fairytales are lines of demarcation around originality.

I think demarcation is impertinent.

I think that Ofelia can be virulently impertinent.
I don’t think sarcasm is a good guise for impertinence.

If I was a post-war French teen I would be a Zazou because you shouldn’t ration clothing.
You shouldn’t ration
Because you shouldn’t War.
Kids War in jest now. On the internet and things.
Where in War can one find gratification?
Especially CyberWar.
In real War the soldiers get to rape and their leaders get to lounge,
On computers you use abbreviated insults and cross your legs to swell your bladder.

The other day earlyman asked Wallace to a celebration and Wallace replied:

“Sorry earlyman mate, I have a war on.”

It wasn’t a real war.
It was a war with a plastic headset and a sticky keyboard and one of those swivelling chairs that have been eroded over time due to gaming incontinence.

I will stay up and finish the wind-up bird chronicle.
I want to meet Murakami.
Murakami has been translated into Turkish by someone named Pinar Polat.
Who is that?
Does he have a car and support war?
What does he eat for breakfast?
Has he ever reversed his name to see if it spells a word?
It doesn’t.
He would know that had he tried.

Russia.

We are going to go to Russia.

If I don’t like it I think I will die in Russia.

I will die surrounded by a host of other people who want to die.
Like in a crack den.
That would be the best way to go.
I cannot do things alone.

This is my first noting and it will not be my first.

It is NewYearsDay.
That means things stop because the date is a novelty.

Every date is a novelty.

We had a party and the partyhost was angered by a seeming lack of respect for his house when in fact it was not a lack of respect rather a "boyswillbeboys" dispensation with partyetiquette.

Ofelia came.
Ofelia always comes.
Ofelia always coming makes me ill.

They are replaying Peter and the Wolf at four, which is an hour away.

Hour is for
clock
andmarriage.

I think i am for marriage but against what marriage has become.
I think i will be married but it will be a far from happy bind.