Lyutsiana

Jim ar Fugue State send me an email like:
"My hard drive crashed, can you send the manuscript again?"

I was literally shitting myself before I read that email.
It was an anticlimax.

Now I have to wait even longer for him to say he doesnt want to publish it.



Neither do you.

Convention is rarely productive.

That was a stupid title.
It doesnt work.

Not sure if I should start making all words the same size again.



and putting them in the same place.
My new manuscript is written like this and I like it
because it looks pretty.

I have a story up here on six sentences. It had to be six sentences long to be considered. 4 people have voted it "six-tacular" which sounds stupid but is the best one.

I will put up a bunch of links soon so the 5 or so people that read this can read my writing in places other than here, there or then.




"Outline Situation Ethics"
I think situation ethics is good.
There is 1 rule:
Love is the only rule.

I think it would be really great and funny if it was. We would be like those chimpanzees that have sex all the time. Apparently its not that type of love, its "agape" love which just means being nice. It should mean having sex. Sex is love. Sex is better than love.

In MEXXXXXXXXXICO 103 people died of swine flu (maybe more now)
3 people got it in Scotland and they slept it off.
Scotland is cold and shitty.
Mexico is a blast.

I bought "No one belongs here more than you" so I dont have to go to the library to read it. I feel like a woman. It has been blurbed by Vogue and Elle.
WHY?
It is a genuinly good book
and Vogue and Elle are genuinly shit things.

I drew a picture of a naked woman on a mans head.

Im taking art next year.
My topic is going to be:
"Naked women sitting on mens heads"

It is a metaphor for how men are oppressed by feminism.

You cant do what you want anymore.



People will come and get you.
Burn men.

Chris East sent me an email to talk about the new chapbook his "bureau de books" is doing. You should submit. You can submit here.

Good luck.

Idiot.

The Death of Entomology

I want someone to read You Tell Us We Are Angels one day
and say it is:

"At typographical mindfuck of love and nihilism"

That would be a good blurb.
I wish I could write the blurb.

Misha Misha.

I am not in school.

Thankyou Oscar.
I am at Oscars house.
The day is stupid. The day is "Will and Grace".

I am doing the new manuscript:
"You tell us we are angels"

But mostly im watching "Will and Grace".

Look at everything and say
"this is good".

I want to be somewhere other than here like there or then

"He is having an affair"

My Mum is so stupid.

I dont want to be here.

"I dont care"


Everything is going wrong
and people are still laughing on television.

Stop laughing on television.

People always laugh on television.

If I was on television I wouldnt laugh

I would say:

"I dont believe in television".

I dont believe in television.

I believe in blah blah blah.

I dont know what I am supposed to do.

I want a teacher to be here.

The teacher can be called

"Mrs Love"

"Mrs Love" will tell me what to do.
She will say:

"Kiss my neck"

or

"Write something about psychoanalysis and sex and the city or something"

The Duke of Edinburgh is racist.
Hello Gordon Brown.
Hello GGGGG.GGG.GGGG.

I LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE LOOK AT ME

At the moment I am thinking: "Fuck" "Fuck" "Fuck" "Dog" "Fuck"

I dont care about you or your mum or your sister or your dog or your book or your friends.
Especially your friends.
I especially dont care about your friends.

This is good therapy.

You are good therapy.

Let us squeeze brine into jam jars
and sell the jam jars to

Chinese Medicine Shit.com

This is always happens to me
and not you
FUCK.

Please take me away.
Please put me in a helicopter.
Please fly the helicopter.
I dont think I could do it.
I cant even drive a car
or smile
or love.

Tell me what to do in list form or novellete form or novella form or love letter form
Forms are stupid.
Plato's forms.
I am a form.
Form off.
Form away.
Forms for you.
Forming you and stuff.
Stupid.
Stupid man.
Stupid boat.
Stupid planet.

Do you want a vase or a tent?

You deserve a vase or a tent.
You hate camping.
You hate smiling.
So you dont do it.


"I'M BEN BROOKS AND I DONT WANT TO BE HERE"

"Alienated" and "Alone" Sex

I wrote a poem called "Alienated" and "Alone" Sex and sent it to Elimae.

"I definitely love you"
"I am not able to love"

Sorry for pretending to be a doctor that time in the restaurant but people who sell fried potato in "Ruddys" dont save people and I want to save people because saving people is a good thing to do.

I am a homo-erotic tape in a dissident tapedeck.
I am so fucking bored.

Our Moon Faces

This girl at school is funny and has a "moon face".
People say she is "ugly".
I think she is "ugly" too.
She is having a "party".
I am going to go "party" at the "party".
A big part of "partying" is fucking those with "moon faces".

Now I know what I am going to do on saturday.

Miranda July

Today I didnt go to school.
I went to the library and read "No One Belongs Here More Than You" By Miranda July.
Miranda July blurbed EEEEE EEE EEEE by Tao Lin.
The books was very funny.
I laughed a lot.
You arent supposed to laugh in the library.
I told myself to stop laughing.
Every now and again I would stop to think about the stories
and I would look at the picture of Miranda July on the book cover of the book.
Miranda July is very pretty.
Today I fell in love with Miranda July.
One story was about a woman who taught some old people to swim using bowls of water.
I liked that one.
I liked them all.
I liked the one about the woman who fell in love with Prince William.
There was a dog called Potato in it.
Thats how Americans spell it.
All Americans are stupid.
Except for Miranda July;
Who I love.

Social Epilepsy

I think I have social epilepsy.
I have fits of socialising.
Good.
I have moved back home.
I am being sent "Sometimes my heart pushes my ribs"
and I am excited.
I will review the book and then put the review here and also in
The Steel Philanthropists
which is set to contain:
A Foals Interview
A Noah Cicero Interview
And work from Daniel Bailey and a bunch of other great people.
It will be fun.
Anyone who wants to send stuff still can.
We will read it all
and Dan will say
"Thats avant garde crap"
and then he will say we wont use it
and then I will sneak it in.
My first Novella will be published online in July.
Hiroki is yet to be published anywhere.
I have just sent The Naked Young to Jim at Fugue State Press,
I hope he likes it
because I like it.
MICEBLEEDYELLOW.

Untitled.

I have 2 stories to be published on Dogzplot.

As rejected by ML Press.

I send another thing called "Man" to ML Press and I hope they like it.

My parents kicked me out and im living in a flat with a man who smells marijuana

and smokes it

a lot.

He sits there splitting "good shit" into plastic bags all day.

Everyone in my street (except me) is either asian, cantonese or polish.

There is one Czech man.

I went to buy tobacco from the Czech mans shop

and he was watching porn on a laptop.

He asked me for ID

and said I looked 16

and I promised that I wasnt

and he sold it to me.

The inbetweeners is on tonight.

SPELLCHECKISDEAD.

Oh No.

"Can't Stop, Won't Stop" Will be published in the spring issue of Willows Wept Review,
Which is good
BUT
"This is how it started and this is how it will end" Was rejected by J.A Tyler
because it is written in a ridiculous way.
I sort of like it like that.
Maybe someone else will want it.
Tomorrow we save the world.
We are telling people to boycott Israel
people that dont care
people that couldnt point out Israel on a map.
Today will end
and tomorrow will begin
HOW SUSPICIOUS.

Good Easter Jesus Friday

Today has been grey.
It rained and I didnt notice.
I wrote a 504 word story called:
"This is how it started and this is how it is going to end"
I burnt my hand yesterday.
I slept on the sofa.
I didnt get up until 11.
That means the day was gone anyway.
Tomorrow I will get up at 10
and I will train my body
like a Chinese Gymnast.
In China 4 year olds can do the splits.
In England 4 year olds can eat 14 fish fingers in one.
I dont like fish fingers.
MyMyMyMyMyMyMyMy
I dont like the way Jools Holland says
"Bon Iver"
Sylvia Plathe was dead yesterday
and she is still dead today.
Things are still here.
People
not so much.
Murakami thankyou.
Norweigan wood.
Chekhov thankyou
About Love.
It smells like dog in here
and we are running out of sugar.
Normally when it smells of dog
I go out
but it is
Good Easter Jesus Friday
so nothing is open
except where I work
which is not a mortuary, dentist or pawnbroker.
Sweet
Dudes
And
Sweet
Ladies
Old
Dead
Tree
Defiance Ohio Thankyou.

Things that are either happening or will happen.

Today is a tuesday.
But it doesnt feel like a day.
It was a library day.
I have a short story entitled "Garden Time" in the forthcoming issue 9 of Print Literary Journal Succour which you can fiiiind here: http://www.succour.org/
I have a short thang called "Decadence" in the forthcoming issue 15 of Paper Wall, which you can find here: www.paperwall.org
Hiroki is finished and James Chapman from Fugue State Press loves it but not many other people do.
I do not think it will be published.
I am working on another piece which so far lacks even a working title.
Then I have a project lined up for the summer which I am excited about.
I want it to be like 250 pages or something.
I want to make like a million pounds with it.
I probably will.

Sometimes things happen in April, scary things.

Someone really liked Hiroki.
I want other people to like Hiroki.
Yesterday some MP claimed expenses for her husbands porn.
I found this very funny.
People keep complaining about how our taxes are now being spent on porn
but I think porn is better than war.
If all the MP's keep buying porn
then we will not be able to go back and
"Instill peace"
in Iraq and stuff.
I dont know if they do things like that in America.
I have no real idea what happens in America.
Like there is a cultural void between there and here.
Barack Obama met the Queen today.
I heard some people talking about Obama today,
it was like this:
"Do you think he has ever been to England before?"
"Like on a holiday?"
"Yea"
"He probably went when he was young to like a caravan park in cornwall or something"
"like the ones with the dancing tigers and mud beaches?"
"Yea"
I dont think he did.
I dont think many Americans do.
I dont think England is alluring.
If anyone wants to read Hiroki then I will probably email it to them.
Unless I see them in real life.