If we had breasts shampoo would be free

Last night I had a "turn" or something and couldnt stop doing things. I painted a lot. Some of the paintings were in the pages of books. I thought of painting on a copy of Fences but didnt. A lot of writing was also done. Seems like i'm writing two novels at once and they are near opposites.

On thursday night Nick Griffin was on Question Time. I thought maybe he would be able to endear the BNP by saying "its not about being racist, its about looking after our own" or some other shit, but instead he never challenged anyone who said "You hate black and brown people". He watched everyone very closely as they spoke and nodded, even while they said things like "He hates black and brown people". Someone should have thrown a punch. I think everyone there felt that but no-one acted on it. If someone had to be elected from the crowd to throw the punch, I would have picked the shaking jewish boy who said "how can you deny the holocaust?". The audience were majority ethnic minorities. I kept wanting Nicko to stand up and ask to see their passports. As soon as he started speaking I also wanted everyone in the audience to say at the same time "definitely gay" and then walk out. He said that "Gay people are just creepy". Actually used the word "creepy". A lesbian told him he was "creepy" too. I kept wondering if Nick Griffin had a wife and if they ever watched porn and if he maybe had a secret penchant for asian porn.

Some people protested outside about the BBC allowing the BNP air time. I thought it was "pretty gay" that people were protesting the fact that faschists werent censored.

The woman on the panel dubbed "Britains most powerful muslim women" was slightly irritating maybe. While they talked about homosexuality (Nicky said bad things about it) she was quoted as having said it broke down family values. When questioned she said "i dont believe that" and nobody said anything else about it. Nick Griffin was not allowed to do that with his quotes (including "Churchill would definitely have been in the BNP"). I thought "you should keep that shit to the pub Nick mayte".

All this BNP stuff means there may be an opportunity for cracking some skulls soon.

I am going to Germany tomorrow for a week so I wont answer any emails or sending anything out. I am flying to frankfurt and then there is like an 8hour train to Gottingen or something I think. My email is Brooksben@hotmail.co.uk if you would like to send fun email games.

New Shoes

To your right is a link to a new review of Fences by Forrest Armstrong, author of Asphalt Flowerhead, from Crossing Chaos. Apparently his book is the shit. I want to read it.

He said lots of nice things about the book.

Thankyou Forrest Armstrong.

"The layout of the book is incredible. It’s like classical music, how it pulses and falls, and is done in such effective harmony with the text that it creates another poetic breath on top of the written one. It’s one of the most successful elements of the book at putting you inside of the narrator’s head as it curls out and then flinches. The book is called a novel but you could just as easily call it poetry; it’s laid out in broken lines and some of the language in it is shockingly fresh."

"Fences is definitely a dope book. "

Also, Joseph Young listed Fences in his recommended reading list of "Good books with good art"

BUY FENCES HERE.

Win a Fences, J.A Tyler is a sugarbomb

By way of christening their new blog, jmww have ran an interview/review/giveaway of Fences by J.A Tyler. J.A is really great and has been really supportive. If you comment on the section then you'll be entered for a random draw to win a signed copy of Fences. The interview/review will be reprinted in the winter issue of the journal.

I am watching an interview with Terry Pratchett on the breakfast news. He is wearing a leather jacket.

I recently read, on a "celebrity twitter" site, that an ex-girlfriend had said a nice thing about Fences. She is nice. She is writing a musical with her brother (Tom Fletcher, Mcfly). Sounds like its all going well. They just signed something with universal records.

New book going well but lacking title.

Ana Carrete reads from Fences! London! CAD! Crispin Best!

Hot Mexican Ana Carrete filmed herself reading from Fences. She is my favourite person.

please buy fences from ana c. on Vimeo.

On thursday I went to a poetry prizegiving in london. There was free wine/food/books. Dan said "i'd never be a wino". There were nice sausages on sticks. Lemn Sissay said it had been a good year for poetry and he made a joke about his name. Carol Ann Duffy looked sullen. She read something about a man having a period. "Feminist". A lady with lady gaga hair said things. Then we met Crispin Best. We spoke about what we could/would/wanted to do at leicester square and then went to a pub called a "sam smiths" where the beer was very cheap. Crispin taught that he was john smiths nicer brother. a chubby man came in wearing a pac man shirt and crispin best said "pac man gobble gobble" or something and the man looked around. there was a woman called "glitterboobs" standing on her own for maybe 10 minutes. then we went to walthamstow and and had things with coke. music was played. then we went to a pub called "the goose" and crispin spent like £4 on a quiz machine playing DEAL OR NO DEAL? and MONOPOLY? only £1 was won. Then crispin went home and me and dan spoke to an old man. he told the same stories maybe 2 or 3 times each. in one story he tells a rich man that he wants to close down irish television. in another story he tells the director of some james bond films that hes "shit". the man said he was a photograph collector. he claimed "The best artistic eye in the world". he said his collection was worth between 8 and 10 million pounds. he bought us both drinks. then we went home to crispin and listened to more music and played the card games; cheat, poker and something else. crispin best can shuffle cards like david blaine. it was nice.

The post before this one asks if anyone wants to buy a copy of my book. sam pink posted it on htmlgiant because he is a friendly human being. then some people commented like "get a job" etcetera. it was fun. some nice people emailed me nice things. i thought it was funny that people cared enough to be angry. i thought about them getting angry inside of glass cages and staying angry inside of the glass cages for 80years and then dying. being angry at things that dont directly affect you or cause harm to others i think is a boring way to spend time. "each to their own".

also, "FENCES" is now available to pre-order from Barnes & Noble but if you do then i think you may not get it for a while. i am unsure.

if a blurb for Fences had been constructed, htmlgiant comment quotes from sam pinks post which could be used were:

-"hes a sweetass" (i like this one, thanks reynard)

-"fuck that shit"

-"i nearly got fired for it"

-"BUY MY CRAPPY LITTLE BOOKS" (no name supplied, possibly my mum)

-"if he starts selling his cum, gallo-style, then im in"

-"there are starving kids in africa"

also shane jones listed FENCES as one of the ten books he was excited about. that was nice. i like shane jones. he has moved into a house with twelve bathrooms! he is so rich now! and famous! no shane is really nice. i think a copy of light boxes just sold on ebay for like $80 or something.

This was quite a long post i think. I feel sleepy.

Garage Sale

Upton Throughfare has just published an e-chapbook of mine entitled "This boy was not immunised but chastised. He ate paper boxes. The Trial". READ IT HERE.

At the moment I cannot write. My laptop shuts down and wont start and shit like that. I have had it for maybe a year or two. Its a childs laptop. It is primary blue.

This is being typed on the "family computer".

With a view to purchasing a new laptop I have opened a paypal account and hope to fill it. I dont know how to do this. I feel stupid or "gay" doing this. I dont even know if it works yet. If you want to paypal me money you can do that to brooksben@hotmail.co.uk here are ideas, you may have others:

-£15 "subscription" - you will get Fences, An Island of Fifty and The Kasahara School of Nihilism for this when they come out. They will be signed and small pictures may be drawn in them (not of dicks).

-Copies of Fences to people in the UK for £5. They are $15 internationally shipped from fugue state.

-One copy of Fences shipped to US for $6.

I would probably send you a copy for free if you asked. Except I will never get a new laptop that way. Its up to you. I am a gaylord.

Bringing Sexy Back

New blog clothing.

Feel okay now. Hungry maybe.

Owed to THIS sent in chapbook from. Chris East is the great and good.

Thanks to everyone that bought/is planning to buy Fences.

J.A Tyler will kindly be reviewing Fences in the winter issue of JMWW which will also feature an interview with me and a giveaway.

ML Press has announced it will be doing a huge anthology of every chapbook they have ever printed. Pre-order here.

Sam Pink has put up the cover to The Self-Esteem Holocaust. Its fucking awesome. He did it himself. I have the manuscript and what I've read so far is amazing. My favourite of his yet. Everyone buy this book when it comes out. Its huge.

I sent a bunch of copies of copies of Fences out on like thursday or something. So everyone I owed them to should get them. It was tempting but I didnt draw dicks in any of them.

Im working on a new book right now and am excited. I think I have had all the false starts I will have now.