orange

last night had a dream with strawburry17 in it. throughout the dream she was small and had her front teeth smashed in. she laughed sometimes. i kept saying to people 'lets go and see strawburry17 again' and then people would be like 'no, lets go to the toilet and have drugs'. when we went to the toilet to have drugs there was a sort of toilet guard who engaged us in conversation about cathedrals. it ended with strawburry17, watching her perform in a place that looked like this irish bar in germany. when i woke up i went back to sleep to see her some more. eventually i had to get up because i have an exam soon.

a house is just a house even if you take it apart even if you throw it in a river even if it is small enough to swallow and excrete.

sort of want to go up to the reception desk in an office and shout at the receptionist 'YOU DID THIS, YOU BROKE US' and then the whole office will think she is 'the one with the violent and very young boyfriend' and none of them will like her ever again and i will have ruined a life which is pretty good going.

what would happen if you were the first person a blind girl saw after she could see again because of pioneering eye surgery? for a second you could probably tell her that everyone on earth looked exactly the same as you.

would we act differently if the soundtrack to lord of the rings was constantly playing everywhere?

feel like i want to watch jeremy kyle and drink tea. that is lucky because it is exactly what i am doing.

going to pour boiling water over my head and blame it on the sky.

the women on this programme have awful voices. they both gave the man heroin money and they almost had a threesome with him.

good morning.

please find the party below

Today is partyday. This is the part where you have just arrived and arent drunk yet and dont want to speak to anyone. You can go and preorder The Kasahara School of Nihilism here right now if you like. And you will probably get it in a few weeks or less or more. It was written before Island. Does that mean anything no. See the earlier post for crispin best's critical appraisal of the book.

Now you have had some beers/vodka/tequila/drugs and you are starting to mingle. Everyone here is kind of stupid but you are thinking that if you just get really drunk that wont matter. Thanks to James Chapman I now have a wikipedia, go and hang out with it and add funny jokes there. I am fully prepared for people to fuck with it because that seems to happen lots.

Next you have started talking to an awful girl and nodding your head when she says words and thinking 'i want to see your vagina and more'. Dennis Cooper has listed An Island of Fifty as one of the early candidates for best of 2010. Somehow it managed to jump in with shit like josh cohen's witz and justin taylor's everything here and chris higgs' marvin mooney. Dennis Cooper is really nice. He is like an uncle who every now and again sends you envelopes full of money. I have never had a relative like that but I have heard about them.

The awful girl is leading you into a bedroom! She keeps saying things like 'i am a waterfall' and you are drunk enough to reply 'i would like to swim in you'. Im sure there was some other news but I have forgotten it all because I am having such a great time at this party.

You play great music to 'set the mood' before you get sexing.



now its the morning
woah what have you done
you silly person
quick
leave before she wakes up
dribble on her face if you want
to make yourself feel better

really want to go to texas
no future!

trumpkin, you're a brick

if ever anyone agrees to publish any of my books ever again then i am going to point my finger at their eye and go 'okay, but i want a fucking wikipedia' and then i am going to say 'and a house' and then i am going to look away and say 'and a blanket' and then i am going to put my face in my hands and say 'and you'.

seems like it would be fun to read submissions for something/somewhere. seems like lots of people get to do it. if anyone wants me to aggressively turn away every piece of writing with the word 'transgender' in it for them then please ask. i will be reliable and great. i will reply to people with personal rejections which say 'please forward a picture of your rack and then i'll decide'. but that is a lie because i dont really like 'racks'. only vaginas. and white bread with lots of butter on it.

currently 4/7ths of the way through writing something. when it is done i will redraft sadie.

have an english exam in two hours.

does anyone want to email me and pretend like we have been married for two years and are still happy/willing to try new things 'sexually'? like for example getting a black male into our bedroom and teasing him with eels.

writing this makes me feel like 'terry pratchett's camp son'.

so far this is the piece of writing i have done most research for. this is because normally i do 'zero research'. this is because i am not a 'real writer'. but that is okay because the whole world is here to play.

when this english exam is done will someone buy this book off me. it is two goldsmith plays. the book is from maybe the 1940s or 50s. there are pictures in the book. and what pictures.

carah naseem typed out a part of island of fifty because she is a great bookcase. you can go and read it here.

really i just posted this so i dont have to go and revise. now i am going to eat noodles.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FEEL GREAT

When the breast of the hills meets the colour of the sea

In 2013 ML Press will release my fourth novel 'Upward Coast & Sadie'. I feel excited for this though it is quite far away. The time will allow me to heavily revise and add to the book. I feel probably better about than other things I have written. Think if possible the book might be released earlier but we will see. We will see.

*update* It now looks like the book will in fact be released in 2012, before the world ends. however in order to be able to do this ML Press is going to need to rack up subscribers during 2011 and 2012 so I encourage you to go over and do so. A lifetime subscription is only $250 which I can imagine being well worth getting now as the press continues to grow. You are all good people in possession of superb faces. *update*

You can now buy An Island of Fifty from Powells if you like.

Working on something else also. Should be revising. Philosophy exam at 9.15 tomorrow morning.

'Mixed feelings' about the future.

The dog is ill and smells like holocaust. She vomited on the carpet today. I sprayed kitchen cleaner on it and panicked. She wandered out by the fish pond because she was embarrassed and sorry.

Seems like existence is composed of 'this house' and 'everything else'. And I know very little about 'everything else' but rather a lot about 'this house'. In the day, when I should be revising, I have taken to walking circles round the living room then going to stand in corners and push my face into them so my cheeks get squashed and then smacking my hands against the wall thinking 'I wonder what the neighbours think this sound is'. I know that they will hear it because I often hear them having sex. Sometimes I can hear them having sex in the morning when I am in the conservatory having a cigarette.

My sister is on the phone. She just said into the phone 'gammon, cheese, and ketchup sandwich' then laughed. She is saying the names of other foods now. I wonder who is on the other end of the phone. They must be easily amused/gormless.

I do not know how I will feel at that bit where my body stops growing and starts decaying.

Dear Everyone,
Thankyou for reading this blog and buying my books sometimes when you are not broke because your car is dead or you have to pay for a pets funeral. I feel extremely flattered that people think I am worth their time. All of the people alive right now are the best people ever.
Love Ben

My sister is still on the phone. She is on the phone and making tea at the same time. This is fucking amazing. She just said into the phone 'its kind of nice to have some drama'.

Think The Kasahara School of Nihilism has been delayed slightly while we get some typos fixed. FSP are going to do pre-orders for it for a little bit. Not yet. But soon. So soon. The typos were pointed out by Ana Carrete who is attractive and great. She sent me a parcel containing nearly inedible mexican sweets, a spanish card game and a headband. Ana was told 'you cannot send food in the post' but on the declaration form she still wrote 'lollies, card game, headband' because she is defiant. It is interesting that Ana found the typos even though english is not her first language.

For the americans and also young anti-television british people, this seemed like 'the best thing that has been on britains got talent' although when people spoke about it they were quite demeaning.



Think that is it for today. Thankyou.

please buy my arms and legs

So my copies of island came and they look wonderful and you should go and buy it now please. Here is the cover and the back cover.


Here are the spines of three copies. The book looks thick. This is funny.


Here is a picture of me that I took for ana carrete when we were both sat at our computers. I have used it as a device to break up the book pictures.


Here is a picture of the book with bookmarks either side of it. On one side of the bookmark are pictures of me and Sasha's books and on the other side is molly's book and the anthology cover. There are also bookmarks with a story by Ken Sparling on one side and a story by Neila Mezynski on the other side.

Here is a picture of inside the book. It is of a part near the end.

Reading this has convinced you to buy the book. You can go and buy the book here.

My mum said about the book 'i liked the other one better'.
My mum is highly unreliable. Maybe that has convinced you to buy the book.

If you buy the book between now and thursday and then you email me saying 'i bought the book' then i will go on gmail and have cybersex with you. Maybe that has convinced you to buy the book.

To further convince you here is a great piece of news from ML Press:

FREE shipping this week only on all Mud Luscious Press subscription packages:

$20 for Ben Brooks' AN ISLAND OF FIFTY & Sasha Fletcher's WHEN ALL OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED
$30 for those two + Molly Gaudry's WE TAKE ME APART
$40 for those three + [ FIRST YEAR ] an mlp anthology

We published these books because they are phenomenal & their writers are tremendous.

In other news I will have some news in a couple of days probably.

You are all superb people.
Thankyou.