guest post: lily dawn (hallo human persan)

The worst thing about winter holidays is that I don't have a family.

I used to have a very big family

but when my boyfriend and I broke up

he took his family with him

and now my old family belongs to another girl.

I wonder if they will give her the same type of gifts for christmas.

Today I walked past a store window downtown

decorated with a hundred beautiful artistic unique christmas tree ornaments

and started to cry.

I turned around

and went home.

I have been crying all day.

I keep thinking about how I don't have a family

and am completely alone in the world

without love.

I keep thinking of that Peter and Gordon song, "World Without Love."

I used to think it was really romantic,

but now I think it's really sad and depressing and makes me cry.

It's like I am living in that Four Tops tune, "It's The Same Old Song."

My cat Sanka spoons with me every night though so it's okay I guess.

I don't remember the last time I cried

but it's nice to know that I still have a soul,

somewhere inside me there is still a living soul.

I'm not a monster yet.

I have been on Celexa for over a month now for anxiety.

Friday I told the doctor that I still have frequent panic attacks.

I thought he would give me more xanax.

But instead I am no longer prescribed Celexa. Or xanax.

Now I am prescribed Prozac.

Tomorrow I start Prozac.

Prozac.

Prozac.

I'm not a monster yet.

lily has a blog

lily has a tumblr

lily has twitter

thanks lily mate

hi everyone